I always find it amazing how people will subject and infant to a transcontinental flight. What is so pressing that they need to take an infant on such a long, uncomfortable trip?

Posted By Steve From TravelingProfessor.com on March 16, 2010, 6:59 PM

What amazes me are the people who actually know their children while on a flight. Learn your child's comfort zones and what soothes them during a stressful situation. Plan your trip to find out how your child will react in a small, cramped environment - take them on a bus or train ride before flying to find out how they react to all the noises and stressful situations.

Posted By lisa on March 16, 2010, 10:34 PM

I do not understand why people take children on flights. Especially vacations. Can't you travel without your small children? I find kids on airplanes completely annoying.

On on 13 hour flight to Japan, the 2 year old behind me kept kicking my seat furiously. He never slept the whole flight. The parents did nothing. It took everything I had to not yell at them.

Also, young children (under the age of 7) should not be in movie theaters. Parents who take their 6 month old to the movies because of a lack of babysitter just need to stay home.
I also went to the Lion King Broadway show and a woman had a 6 month old crying. The ushers had to tell her to leave!

Posted By JM on March 17, 2010, 8:40 AM

I think JM is making the rounds on this topic - his comment is nearly identical to the one Brad referenced on CNN.com! Seriously, JM, the appropriate adult-like (non passive-aggressive) response to that child kicking your chair would have been to calmly ask the parents if there is anything they can do to get the child to stop furiously kicking your chair - that it would be much appreciated.

I have never in my life seen a crying baby's parents ignoring the situation on an airplane. Quite the contrary. I sometimes see desperation, stress, embarrassment, and anguish on the parents' faces, though. I truly have compassion for parents whose children, for whatever reason, do not cope particularly well on a flight. Kids aren't robots - they're unpredictable at times and in some situations, hard to soothe. The last thing that parent needs at that moment are angry fellow passengers shooting them deadly glances--as if that will somehow help the situation? Bring some earplugs, people. They're $3 at the magazine stand.

For my toddler, it's iPhone apps and Thomas the Tank Engine. And lots and lots of cheerios. And if that doesn't work, well them I'll hope I'm sitting next to an understanding person that has a nice smile, will let me buy them a glass of wine, and accept my offer of earplugs.

Posted By Lauren on March 17, 2010, 10:31 AM

Obviously the people who complain about infants on airplanes do not have kids. My 3 year old is a delight on airplanes as long as you keep her busy with little presents, videos and games. Why would parents want to leave the child at home? My wife and I enjoy bringing our daughter everywhere we go because she is a good traveler and we have pictures of her in at least 7 countries already. Please get used to the idea that children are going to go on planes. If it bothers you that much, spend the extra money and fly first class.

Posted By Scott on March 17, 2010, 10:33 AM

JM: Just because you found particular children annoying doesn't mean that all small children should be banned from plane travel or theatres.

To answer your question: no, I can't travel without my baby. He's not at an age where I'd want to do that. Quite frankly, if my husband and I chose to take a vacation, we would want to do something that all three of us would enjoy.

If you are being kicked in the back of your chair by a small child, you are well within your rights to politely ask the parents to get the child to stop. If my child were doing something like that and it were brought to my attention by someone else, I would profusely apologize and make sure my child didn't do it again.

It's up to the parents to decide what is appropriate for their kids and to find ways of calming them during fussy moments. I wouldn't take my child to a a performance or a movie where quiet is the norm until I felt he understood the social norms of theatre going, which we will practice when he's older by going to theatre/concert events that are geared toward children of his age. Your cutoff ages seem arbitrary and based on your own negative feelings toward children.

I know how to soothe my baby and what things entertain him. My husband and I, along with most parents, aren't going to blithely ignore our child's crying or discomfort.

Posted By kali on March 17, 2010, 6:16 PM

I don’t have any children and I find most kids on planes extremely annoying. Having said that, I also find that most adults are no better! Folks, unless you’re traveling Business or 1st Class (and even in these seats), we all have to expect that we’re going to have to put up with some amount of discomfort and irritation when flying. I’ve traveled quite a bit and I’ve seen it all – the guy who clips his toenails (yuck), the woman who douses herself with perfume (come on, do you really need to spray perfume in a small enclosed place?), the nose picker (this was in Business class and probably my worst yet), the yacker, the drooler, the person who didn’t bathe, etc. The fact is that when flying we’re all in a tight space and we need to have a little tolerance. Unless you’ve booked the entire flight just for you, you’re going to have to put up with other people and their annoying predilections… and their kids. And if you think you’re the perfect seat mate, think again!

Posted By Amy on March 18, 2010, 9:58 AM

When I had to fly with my infant/toddler, I always tried to schedule the flights during naptime. My little one managed to sleep through entire continental U.S. non-stop flights. There were even times when the pilots commented that they didn't know an infant/toddler was on the flight when we landed. I do agree that I am more tolerant of crying children when I know that their parents are trying to soothe them. I have found that sometimes adults are more annoying than any child that I've encountered on a flight. We all must learn to be more patient and tolerant of everyone.

Posted By Vanessa on March 18, 2010, 10:59 AM

I don't have any children either, but I do have empathy for parents who try (repeat, try) when it comes to flying or having their children in other public situations. That being said, I travel quite often and have found myself in all types of situations. Sometimes I've been surprised to find an infant had been seated somewhere near me. They hadn't made a peep. Sometimes I've been near an infant who cries the entire flight (trust me, earplugs don't work when the child is just two rows back).

What makes a flight completely unbearable is when the parent doesn't do a thing. And yes, there are parents who don't do a thing. If you haven't seen them, then you are lucky. I once had an infant (around 6 months) and mother directly in front of me; he screamed and cried for most of the flight. The only thing the mother did was to hold him where he was facing me. No rocking, no soothing, no visual distractions, just a chat with her seat-mate and my seat-mate and I ordering cocktails.

From my experience, parents do less as a child gets older. Perhaps they are just used to it and don't realize that other's don't appreciate their seeming lack of respect for those around them. I've seen toddlers run free on a plane - one stopped at my seat and slapped me - I had my eyes shut trying to fall asleep - imagine my surprise – no parent in sight until he had made a few laps. Once a man did nothing while his seven-year-old son practically sat in my lap so he could better see the movie screen. And despite what one poster above says, politely asking the parents to have their child stop kicking your seat, does NOT always work. Once I asked four times - each time the mother told her four-year-old "Don't kick the lady's seat". A couple minutes later, he would be at it again. She would notice as she was too busy talking to her friend. He didn't have anything else to do. No books, no snacks, no attention from mom.

Finally, I do agree with some here that there are very, very few reasons to ever take an infant on a plane. Only in very rare emergencies or if you are moving someplace you can't drive to. Forget about driving other passengers nuts, why would you want to expose your infant to all the germs that are being recycled throughout an enclosed space for hours.

Posted By Amanda on March 18, 2010, 11:54 AM

Are you KIDDING me? Do NOT take kids on an overseas flight? What if your family lives overseas? They should miss out on seeing family because of you, you lazy selfish person. Get some earplugs and speak to the parents if a child is kicking your seat,they will move the child, or ask the flight attendant, maybe he/she can change your seat
You are not the only person in the world who matters!

Posted By kathy on March 18, 2010, 12:18 PM

Any parent with a child and does not know what is good or bad with that child never should have one. They are gifts from God and should be treasured. That means knowing every possible thing about them. Also means how they are with others in crowds and so on. This takes time to accomplish this and many moments with that child. If you are going to pop them out and let someone else take care of them, again do not have a living thing depend on you.

My child is now 23. When she was 9 months old parents wanted us to come home for the holidays. I know the pressure in planes hurt my ears imagine what they would feel like to a baby. I had her food ready to go for when the plane took off to insure she would swallow thus alleviating the pressure and pain. I made sue it was a favorite of hers as well so she would not spit it out. She had her favorite blanket I lay down in front of me, I was given a front seat, where she played with her toys until she fell asleep. Yes I was a pack horse to accommodate my darling child, and it all was worth it. I received so many compliments from almost everyone on board. It is not rocket science, it is responsibility of a parent to know their child. Again if you are not willing to give that child the time needed to raise it and care for it properly, then keep your legs closed or find another way to never have children. I know of horror stories of people that should have been sterilized so they could not have kids. Scarily now a days its most people.

Posted By Christi Fallica on March 18, 2010, 12:27 PM

Babies and small children often create the flight from hell for the rest of the passengers.
Parents should strongly consider driving where possible rather than inflict their children on a hundred other people.
The worst flight I ever experienced was coming back from China, with 5 baby chinese children who were up for adoption.
Now, that was real hell. There was not one minute of that 11 hour flight when one kid wasn't screaming.
It would be nice if airlines offered flights with no children under 7 years old. They might even attract more customers.

Posted By A.Commentator on March 18, 2010, 12:28 PM

JM: I will take solace at the fact of knowing that when you have children you will think about what you wrote here and regret every word. No one is more judgmental of parenting than those who are not parents. I know from experience. You'll also quickly realize that children are not like dogs. They dont have places to board them while you take a trip to Florida for the week.

My husband and I have traveled a lot with our son since he's been born. He's probably flown 6 or so times and he's only 18 months. As he gets older and more active it becomes increasingly more challenging to keep him busy and sitting the entire time. My last flight with him (a few weeks ago) we were even given a middle seat. Talk about anxiety.

I'm with the other posts in that I dont think any parent takes traveling with a child lightly. If you're bothered by a baby on a plane crying, I can guarantee that you'd have to magnify your frustration times 100 and then add some stress on top of it to even come close to how the parents are feeling. In one of our flights, we did everything outside of putting our son in a straight jacket to stop him from grabbing the hair of the passengers in front of us. The whole flight. However, at the end of the flight, he managed to slip through my grip and yank the hair of the lady in front of us. While she was sleeping. Was i mortified? Yes. Could I do anything but apologize? No. And I'm sure my apology did nothing to diffuse her anger. She was pissed. It's just frustrating because she will never know about the other 128 or so times that we stopped him from yanking her hair. If she knew that then she may have been a little more understanding.

Posted By Jen on March 18, 2010, 12:29 PM

Dear Scott: It is highly unlikely that your 3 year-old 'is a delight on airplanes'. I'm guessing that you are in the minority regarding that opinion.
-
Dear Lauren: It is all fine and good to say that a person should just calmly ask the parents if they can do anything about their child kicking at the back of a seat. But the reality is that if the passenger says anything, the parents act as if he or she is a sociopathic monster who hates kids - when in fact the passenger is a victim held hostage by an undisciplined child and parents who don't want to deal with it.

Posted By Stella on March 18, 2010, 12:41 PM

As with most things in life- no answer is the 100% correct answer. That being said, I am a mom-single mom at that. My son is now twelve and we have traveled the world from Europe to Asia. I was gifted with a easy natured son but parenting and respect for others goes a long way. I've always had snacks and things to keep my little guy entertained. He had little electronic games, books, crayons, the kid meal toys are the best- cause who cares if you lose those...just stop and get another. A ziplock bag of cheerios was a miracle worker. Granola bars, fruit snacks- little things that are there for your child. My son always had his little back pack-with his things. This goes along way.

However-Kicking seats, running around and screaming just weren't tolerated-nor was interupting people speaking ( prob my biggest pet peeve-it is just Rude). These types of behaviors make me want to scream myself. Granted it is public space- but air tickets are not cheap today and it not fair to deal with unruly passengers- and that includes adults(those that extend their seat all the way back into your lap are far more anoying than kids who have bad behavior)

Ultimately- parents should be considerate enough of others when making choices (rather it is a restaurant, theaters or traveling) If you know that your little one doen't do well in these situations- don't embarrass yourself or annoy others. Slowly introduce your child to these situations and encourage appropiate behavior. Remember that is is your child- and you decided to be a parent. 9 times out of 10- the little person causing so much chaos- just wants attention- give it to them but in a positive way.

Posted By JoD on March 18, 2010, 12:43 PM

I travel with my baby across the pacific so that the grandparents can see the baby. This is discrimination against babies. What about all the fat people, they tend not just to occupy their own seat but tend to expand into mine. The people who drink lots of alcohol on the, they stink. How about poeple who smoke, their clothes stink of cigarettes. Then what about certain race or religion, as soon as you see them they make me sick and so on..............

Posted By Kin on March 18, 2010, 12:55 PM

Comments by A.Commentor are completely unrealistic. While I sympathize you were on a jet with 5 children and their new parents or their minders for the trip who perhaps lack the knowledge of how to soothe the child who is adjusting to a new face and new environment, a complete ban on the under 7 crowd is unrealistic to administer for a flight that is carrying around 500 passengers. If you want a child free flight, try charter.

I have taken my kids as infants, toddlers, young school-age and now older on international flights without issues to visit family members (yes, there is a reason for these kids to travel internationally aside from vacations). At the conclusion of flights including my infants, I would get comments from grateful passengers about how quiet my child was. Perhaps it was because my husband or I would spend any fussy period standing, walking around, or hanging about by the flight attendant galley to keep our children quiet for other passengers. That is my responsibility or the responsibility of other parents who choose to fly with their young children - otherwise, they should be offering up cocktails to nearby seatmates.

As children get older, parents are responsible to ensure that their kids have enough to keep them amused so that feet aren't swinging boredom. One request to a parent who hasn't noticed should really be enough to put them on notice for the remainder of a flight. If the parent can't stop the swinging, perhaps offer to switch seats with the parent so you sit by their little darling while the parent's seat is kicked. Otherwise hope a flight attendant can find an alternate location for you.

Unfortunately, many parents are rude and not respectful and they ruin it for all of those who try very hard when we fly with our children.

Posted By MN Mom on March 18, 2010, 12:57 PM

My kids are now teenagers but have been flying regularly since they were infants. I have always prepared for the trip by taking things for them to eat on the plane. When they were little I always made sure they were sucking on a pacifier on take off and descent. As they grew older they were given suckers, or gum to chew. They also got to pick out some special food treats and make a bag of food for the plane. I also buy special activity treats that I wrap and let them open during the flights. These have been things like new books, sticker books, mazes, new colored pens, small toys. I keep the presents in my backpack and give them one every hour or so when they start to get restless. I have generally have had well-behaved, quiet kids on a flight.

Posted By Beth on March 18, 2010, 1:01 PM

My kids are now teenagers but have been flying regularly since they were infants. I have always prepared for the trip by taking things for them to eat on the plane. When they were little I always made sure they were sucking on a pacifier on take off and descent. As they grew older they were given suckers, or gum to chew. They also got to pick out some special food treats and make a bag of food for the plane. I also buy special activity treats that I wrap and let them open during the flights. These have been things like new books, sticker books, mazes, new colored pens, small toys. I keep the presents in my backpack and give them one every hour or so when they start to get restless. I have generally have had well-behaved, quiet kids on a flight.

Posted By Beth on March 18, 2010, 1:02 PM

I completely agree with Kathy. It's insane to say that babies shouldn't be allowed to take overseas or long flights.
If you are complaining so much about a baby crying on a plane it's because you probably have never had one. Who have kids understand that sometimes no matter what you do, you can't calm them.

Posted By Carina on March 18, 2010, 1:03 PM

My husband worked for an international research institute in Indonesia for several years when our children were small so I made the trans-Pacific flight with them a number of times, not by choice but by necessity. The contrast between American and Asian carriers was striking. On Singapore Airlines and Philippine Airlines, both the crew and other passengers actually seemed to like babies and children. People would offer to play with the girls so that I could eat or go to the restroom. The positive vibes always had a very positive effect on my children.

In contrast, on Northwest, people would scowl at us and start making negative comments as soon as we walked down the aisle of the plane. I remember a Northwest flight attendant putting my meal on the floor by the aisle seat where I could not reach it from the window seat where I was holding a small infant.

I trained my children to behave properly and they never bothered anyone. At the end of the long flights, a number of people would always come up and say, "Oh, your girls were so well-behaved." I always felt like saying , "Well, it was no thanks to you," but of course I never did. I think it's sad that in general, Americans lack the sense of connection and community that many Asians seem to bring to the travel experience.

Posted By JanB on March 18, 2010, 1:07 PM

This is the most awful and absurd conversation. I've never experienced anything but hospitable, adoring & sympathetic co-travelers and travel employees. Traveling is FANTASTIC and I'm not about stop because I have children, much less deprive them of seeing the world. And, since you all seem to be so well-traveled, I'm sure you realize that its only we Americans that have these "lovely" anti-children conversations. The rest of the world embraces children and values family with enthusiasm, rightly so.

Posted By rmf on March 18, 2010, 1:09 PM

I don't have kids and I do find them annoying at times, but I'm realistic enough to realize that parents aren't going to leave them at home all the time. That's fine. But parents, please keep an eye on your kids. If a kid is kicking the back of my seat, I shouldn't have to ask his parents to do something about it. They should have seen it themselves and told the kid to stop it. You have a right to take your children onto an airplane, but you also have a responsibility to discipline them.

Posted By MertWarson on March 18, 2010, 1:13 PM

Bad parents are everywhere so you'll have to stay home to avoid them. Good parents do their best to be prepared and calm an upset child.

We traveled domestically and internationally with our kids from birth. We ALWAYS bought the child a seat - that is the best advice. If you can't afford that then don't take them, and it's not just a comfort issue, it's a safety issue. In case of bad turbulence or a rough landing the baby/child is much safer in their safety seat than in your arms/lap.

The kids were never a problem on flights. Business travelers who thought they'd had the "bad" luck to be seated by me and my infant ended up saying things like "what a marvelous baby!" No, but she did have a prepared Mom.

I agree with the comment that I've been seated with people who smell, are drunk, need 2 seats or are just plain gross. Until something can be done about them, leave the kids alone and be appropriately assertive with the parents of a bothersome child.

Posted By Judy in MT on March 18, 2010, 1:21 PM

I travel with my children. I find many of these responses completely irrational and ignorant. My mother lives 1500 miles away, a 4 hour plane ride. She is my closest relative and only person I could count on to watch my children if my husband and I were to go on a vacation for more than 2 days. With that said, I fly prepared. We ask to load our carry-ons first, but that we wait to physically board at the end. Children confined to a seat while everyone else boards starts the childs impatience. Bring snacks, toys, video/iphone, pacifiers/bottle/gum. Whatever it takes. Secondly I ask the people around me to let me know if my children disturb them at all. I never have a problem if I do that first. Secondly, when I am flying alone and I see a child/infant and watch all the eyes roll I mention to the flight attendant that if someone who is sitting near that family wishes to switch seats I will. I ahve no problem entertaining other kids. It helps my flight go quicker as well!

Posted By Kimberly on March 18, 2010, 1:25 PM

To be honest, there is no way of flying with a baby. We had to travel a great deal with our son and we found the best way by air was to make sure no flight was longer then two hours from taxi way to dock. For European trips we went by boat. We saved ourselves a great deal of hassle and also those around us. We arrived at our destination relaxed and on "local" time. We also discovered we added to our business by picking up new contacts and customers from the people we met during the stops. It was a win win for all three of us.

Posted By csappe on March 18, 2010, 1:28 PM

I am pregnant with my first, and my inlaws live in Australia. We WILL be taking our baby on a flight to the South Pacific to meet his/her grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles. To say a child shouldn't fly at all is just ridiculous.

I think any seasoned traveler has had a not-so-good situation with a crying baby on a plane, but mostly I feel bad for the parents...as I put on my headphones and listen to music.

Posted By Nicole on March 18, 2010, 1:30 PM

It's a known fact that children are rarely as well-behaved(or as cute for that matter!) as parents think they are. Re: your defensive comments that other travelers are simply intolerant or insensitive ... Remember: The world does not revolve entirely around you and your little one either!

It is crazy that parents do not need to purchase an additional seat for children under 2. No toddler will sit in a lap for an entire flight!

Posted By Lindell on March 18, 2010, 1:40 PM

"I do not understand why people take children on flights. Especially vacations. Can't you travel without your small children?"

Really? How about my husband is military and we move across the country every two years. He travels himself all the time, and sometimes we have to travel just to see him. We have to travel to see family and travel to spend time together!! If my husband and I want to spend time together after a particularly long deployment, we have to drop the kids off at a relative's house - across the country first. (One on the east coast, one on the west) Military families will often babysit for one another, but there are times when it just does not work, especially when everyone's spouse came home at the same time and everyone has the same two weeks off. We go camping; we drive places; we are constantly on the move. Our children are very good travelers as a result. We work hard to make the experience good for them and other travelers.

To assume that parents can always travel without their children is arrogant, rude and plain impractical. It is a shame that some parents (who do not parent their children in flight) have ruined your opinion of all of us. Please do not lump us all together or think that we drag our children on an airplane for the fun of it. Oftentimes we have very good reasons to be there.

Posted By Shamrock on March 18, 2010, 1:40 PM

i'm going to say at the outset that this is a conversation/argument which will never be won on any side.

My 2 1/2 year old daughter had flown cross country to the West three times (with flight changes) by the time she was 2, with a few smaller flights in there too. She's also been on three round trip train trips.
That said, she's currently at an age at which it is hard to travel with her, and I am fully aware of that.
However, when she was an infant, I always checked in with the gate attendant, inquired as to open seating, boarded early, and complied with rules.
I found that nursing on takeoff helped, though nursing can get you as many dirty looks as a crying baby can.
I found that most flight attendants are helpful and understanding, and will do what they can to accommodate.
Parents have to be aware, considerate, and prepared. I always re-check airline regulations about car seats and strollers online prior to flights, and pack snacks, toys, books, etc.
I've found adults on flights to be more annoying than children, personally. the ones who recline their seat into you without asking are my personal pet peeve.

Posted By jess on March 18, 2010, 1:44 PM

As my son says "you don't choose to sit by the Baby, the Baby chooses you!". (We fly Southwest most of the time)

There are excellent flying parents and there those that should have never been allowed to reproduce. Just like there are wonderful seat partners and there are the seat mates from hell.

We always employ kindness as a weapon of mass destruction. We react with a smile to the baby playing pee-a-boo over the seat. We wave and listen to babble. I've made napkin puppets and had a puppet show. It's just the nice thing to do.

Them that have a blanket policy of disliking all children on all flights probably aren't fun to be around on a good day, so we often hope the Baby chooses....them.

Posted By mommaB on March 18, 2010, 2:03 PM

i find children on planes to be much more tolerable than adults who insist on chomping and cracking their gum loudly, having inane loud conversations with their travel mate, and listening to their ipods at top volume. at least i know the children generally don't know any better. adults, however, have no excuse. let's all just face the fact that we're all trying to get from point a to point b in a really tight space. if everyone would just take a moment and think about their place in that tight space, no one should be aggravating or aggravated.

Posted By llz on March 18, 2010, 2:06 PM

Sure, screaming babies and small children should be banned from all flights. So should people who smell weird or eat things that smell weird. And fat people. And drunks, too. I particularly dislike people who take up more than their share of overhead compartment space, so none of them should be allowed to board. Ugly people as well; I want something pleasant to look at during my flight, so dress appropriately, too. >all typed in sarcasm font

We need to face it if we want to travel~everyone here has been seated next to every passenger I've described above....maybe we've even inadvertently BEEN the passengers I've described above. If you bring children on a flight, entertain them and be aware if they are disturbing other passengers. Bestow on other passengers the same type of behavior and treatment you wish them to bestow upon you. And if you're seated between/in front of/behind the nightmare passengers...just remember~it's not forever!!!1

Posted By Kim on March 18, 2010, 2:07 PM

I am fully annoyed with parents who bring their children on airplanes or traveling in general and then ignore them. I have seen the worst behavior by children while traveling and also some very well mannered children who bring a smile to my face with their curious questions and lovingly responsive parents.

To those of you who say if a child is kicking the back of your seat, please ask the parents to have the child stop. I have witnessed that this does NOT work. Any parent who is already considerate of others and is teaching their child appropriate behavior will nip seat kicking in the bud before it causes a problem. Parents who are NOT paying attention to those around them get extremely offended when someone politely asks them to have their child stop kicking. I have seen this multiple times on airplanes where someone nicely lets the parent know the child is kicking to get the response: "What am I supposed to do?" and "Lighten up" or even once "You woke me up to tell me this?" While the father slept next to his active toddler who incessantly kicked the seat next to me for an entire 4 hour flight.

More than once I have had seen a toddler aged child standing in the seat, climbing over the seat and once (I am not even kidding) fell into someone's lap in the seat behind them. To this the mother reacted by shaking her head and saying "boys will be boys." Are you kidding me? Do you not love your own child enough to worry about their safety.

Screaming babies no longer bother me since I wear earplugs from the minute I set foot on the plane after one night on a red-eye with an over tired baby wailing in it's sleeping mother's arms. It also seems like few parents encourage using an "inside" voice. Screaming and yelling in a confined space is completely unacceptable.

I always make a point to go out of my way to compliment people with well behaved children. I notice other people do this too. I love seeing small children engaged in the process of travel. To me, those are the parents who truly want to experience the joys travel can be with a small child.

You KNOW when your children are misbehaving and you KNOW when your children are good. If you get mostly dirty looks (or people are looking away, refusing to give your bratty child the attention they obviously crave) and no compliments from strangers on your child's good behavior that should give you an idea which category you fall into.

Posted By macidc on March 18, 2010, 2:21 PM

I agree with Jess on two things, this argument will never be won and adults are more annoying than kids most of the time on flights.

I will say this though to all the whiners and complainers out there; boo hoo! If it were such a big deal to you not to fly on a plane with kids, then don't fly.

Posted By Doug on March 18, 2010, 2:22 PM

What can we do to stop the UGLY AMERICANs who bring their dirty little snots along on vacation! Especially European vacations - I remember witnessing a typical Ugly American deliberately parading his little snots thru the middle of an expensive restaurant in France. Totally disgusting and ill-mannered!

Posted By Allison Currie on March 18, 2010, 2:29 PM

My daughter does not want to take her 13 month old to England, but because of health of grandparents in UK her family MUST fly. The UK grandparents have not seen their only grandchild. But I had one 4 year old on a plane from UK and you didn't even know who the child's parent was. He was a hellion.

Posted By diana on March 18, 2010, 2:40 PM

I'm always amazed that flight attendants seem to have no training in dealing with a baby whose ears are obviously in pain from the cabin pressure when ascending and descending; I always carry a small packet which heats up when I press a button suspended in a gel. My ears hurt sometimes and I use it to relieve the pain. I have lent it to grateful mothers coping with infants or toddlers in pain. It is applied to the ear and it does relieve the pain.
Babies' ears are much more susceptible to the pressure and it hurts to watch them. I am mystified by parents who utterly ignore their crying children; I see this in grocery stores, in shops, in malls...whatever. Pay attention to your children, for Heaven's sake! They need care, obviously, and the rest of us need a break. You're teaching them that their needs have no value in your eyes. Same with barking dogs that owners ignore while the neighbors go crazy.

Posted By Barbara on March 18, 2010, 2:47 PM

One word for traveling with babies - FEDEX.

Posted By ron on March 18, 2010, 2:53 PM

If you decide to have children, you should do so with the knowledge that you will not be able to do everything you want to when you want to. It's not a free pass to ignore common courtesy and the basic rights of your fellow travelers. No one should be forced to wear ear plugs because you've chosen to take a child on a trip that they are not ready for. I'm all for removing families with disruptive children from flights just as we do disruptive adults.

Posted By Jim on March 18, 2010, 2:59 PM

I'm stumped by the grinches who suggest leaving kids home not just from airplane travel but also restaurants and other public places. How else will kids learn to behave in public? Of course child-rearing is a parent's responsibility, but we all benefit from kids who are raised to be citizens, and keeping them home sedated by tv won't make that happen. Maybe the folks who don't want kids out in public were themselves sequestered, and so never learned the skills necessary for peaceful coexistence.

I've got 2 kids, the older of whom took his first plane trip when he was 5 weeks old. Nursing was key--thanks to Jess for mentioning it--I didn't get any looks for feeding my baby, maybe because it's really clear that a nursing baby can't cry.

We brought our adopted younger son home from Ethiopia on a 12-hour trip--no fun for anyone in that plane, but did you expect us to leave him there?

Both of our kids, at this point, are great travelers--without dvd players or video games. The older one reads or does activity books, and we bring hand puppets and board books for the younger, walking him around if he gets restless. Planning trips around naptimes is really helpful, too; we put the toddler in his seat and if it's the right time, he's out and we're all at peace. If one of them knocks the seat forward of him or does anything inconsiderate of another passenger, we remind him not to. If that doesn't work, we remove him so that the kicking stops.

Thanks for raising this question. I also do appreciate the people who commend my kids for their good behavior on flights--positive reinforcement really helps!

Posted By Liz on March 18, 2010, 3:05 PM

Typical comments from the "Know What's Right for Everyone Else Crowd". I don't mind if a kid on a plane, in a restaurant, in a movie theatre, or in other public places, is there. If heard, I would hope that at least an attempt is made to control (in the case of a movie theatre, babies should not be allowed). Unfortunately, that is usually not the case. The little buggers are set free to run around, yelling and screaming, even in expensive restaurants. Too many times, I have had evenings ruined by the little tykes - wait, for that matter, many evenings have been ruined by loud adults, too. You know the saying, "the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree".

Posted By Alan on March 18, 2010, 3:07 PM

A few years ago on a flight from Venice, Italy to Miami- I was not too happy to see an 9 month old baby behind me. However, instead of getting upset- I offered to assist the mother and held the baby (who came right to me) every time he would get fussy. Long story short- he fell asleep 3x on my shoulder. Not sure the other passengers appreciated my efforts but the tired/worn out Mom was very greatful. Jonathan was a real sweetie!!

Posted By Amanda on March 18, 2010, 3:10 PM

brad,

thanks for your "article," if you can call it that. As a pregnant woman who intends on flying in the future (with and without my child), I find this article so offensive I'm canceling my newsletter subscription. Glad you got some traffic today; but know that such arrogant, biased and mean-spirited articles will GET YOU NOWHERE with your readers.

Posted By Kate King on March 18, 2010, 3:13 PM

Not all babies come in small packages. On a flight last year from Las Vegas to Fort Laud- a 27 year old baby (snotty brat) was upset because she was unable to book her seat next to her husband. When asked to switch seats- which I did not want to do as I purposely booked the aisle seat for myself and Mom - she continued to whine, swear and excessively drink for the entire 5 hour flight.
Making the flight miserable for the rest of us.
While I am not a violent person- It was all I could do not to smack the crap out of her but I did not want to risk getting tossed off the plane.
At least when babies cry it because there is something - not because they didn't get their way. PS her hubby who seated next to me was buying the girl next to him drinks but that's probably a whole other issue.

Posted By Amanda on March 18, 2010, 3:18 PM

Barf bag puppets.

Not so much for babies, of course, but works great for the 2-10 crowd. My sister and I used to bring markers and crayons to decorate those little white paper bags that are in the seat pocket and make personal puppets. (put the bag over your hand, with the flap part making a mouth)

As we got older, we'd bring shells and other souvenirs home for our friends. On the plane ride home, we'd draw our friends faces on the puppets and put the souvenirs inside for a personalized goody bag.

My dad travels a lot for business and has been known to use this technique to calm cranky kids in seats surrounding him -- much to the relief of parents and fellow passengers!

Posted By kat on March 18, 2010, 3:21 PM

On a flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles I had a young child repeatedly kick the back of my seat, and I very nicely asked the parents to stop the child on several occasions. After the third time the mother snapped at me that I need to suck it up and just take it. I don't remember what I said to that, but knowing me I'm sure it would have to be censored anyway. Incidentally, these were not little bumps or taps but full on kicks. Keep your little monsters off the plane!

Posted By JK on March 18, 2010, 3:22 PM

Sitting in an airport waiting out my layover, the flight to Seattle was cancelled. (I wasn't going there but was sitting next to the gate) People rushed the service counter immemdiately. A long line formed quickly. A woman with a stroller was in line. The baby was facing outward and the woman was standing behind. (The baby could not see her, I assume the mother) The baby started that screaming/crying/piercing/shrill. The mother NEVER did anything. A few people shouted "Turn the stroller around." She never did. Finally a representative walked up to her and said she needed to leave the area to calm the child. She said she didn't want to lose her place in line. Rep told the people in front and behind her that she could have her place back.

I really think she was hoping that kid would get her to the front of the line. So yes, some parents do let their kids wail and carryon. Some have heard the kid so much it doesn't bother them anymore.

Posted By Miller on March 18, 2010, 3:25 PM

I have an excellent idea - seal off a section with a barrier of soundproof glass and put all the parents and young children in that section. Problem solved!

Posted By leffty013 on March 18, 2010, 3:34 PM

When our daughter was ten months old she began screaming as we were taking off. We had tried getting her to suck on her bottle in the hope of popping her ears as it was a cry of pain from the pressure building in her ears. Out of desperation, my husband held her nose and puffed a small breath into her mouth which popped her ears for her. She quieted immediately and was comfortable the rest of the flight. I have offered this tactic to other distraught parents on flights and it has worked. Nancy from Chicago

Posted By Nancy on March 18, 2010, 3:34 PM

Not only did the child cry from the time we left Aruba, till the time we arrived in Charolotte(the mother told the flight attendant that "oh he'll be asleep soon") the parents left a dirty row of seats spewn with the remains of food and paper all over the floor for someone else to clean up. These were parents in their 30's. I cant imagine what they do in there own home.

I'm sure that the parents would not enjoy listening to or clean up after someone elses child, how could they, they cant even cope with their own.

Posted By barbara L on March 18, 2010, 3:37 PM

I think people need to use common sense when flying with or without children. Most of us are so selfish that we only care about our own comfort. I think children should be allowed on flights, but parents need to try and keep their kids relatively quiet. I wouldn't personally want to fly on a very long flight with a baby or small child, because they are bound to get irritable at some point and they might cause a scene.

I have a 19 year old son who flew for his first time at 4 years old. My husband and I brought books, games and toys to keep him occupied. I also made sure that he was not kicking the person's seat in front of him, because I know how much I hate it when someone does it to me.

We all need to try to be more polite and considerate travelers. You are confined in a small space with a lot of people and all it takes is a couple of obnoxious passengers to ruin the flight for everyone.

Posted By Vickie on March 18, 2010, 3:37 PM

To the parents who suggest that anyone irritated by their child's misbehavior not fly and to those who insist no young children should fly, I say,"A plague on both your intolerant houses".
No adult should be upset by an infant who cries in pain from the earache induced by cabin-pressure changes. No parent should permit screeching (or seat kicking for that matter)by a child who simply wants its own way. No one who has had their own children has any difficulty distinguishing the tenor of those cries. And, anyone who flies very often has heard both.

Posted By Guy Fawkes on March 18, 2010, 3:39 PM

Yes, I do hate your baby. From the kid whose mother allowed him to kick me the entire flight even after I asked her (and him, several times) not to, to the lovely tyke who puked on my shoes while disembarking while her oblivious mother held her over her shoulder, I cringe when I see children board the plane.

That said, I gladly give up my seat to keep a family together in hopes that the parents will have better control over their children. I do not begrudge babies screaming because of air pressure changes. Sometimes, I want to scream too!

To the prepared parents: I LOVE YOU! I will play peek-a-boo to no end with your kid. To the parents of the little hellions (and you know who you are) I wish you only the worse. If we see you are trying to take care of your kid, most passengers will be tolerant. If we see you ignoring your child's boredom or pain, we will not be.

To the fat guys who sweat on me: buy another ticket to accommodate your fat. To the drunk horndog: get your hand off my leg, I WILL call the flight attendant before I smack you. To the people who do not bathe or that guy with such bad breathe that I had to change seats: What is WRONG with you people?

I hate flying more than ever but my travel lust must be satisfied and with limited vacation time, flying is the only answer, so I will have to endure, but I try to make my fellow seatmates as uncomfortable as possible and to behave with a polite manner. Don't make me release the flying monkeys!

Posted By MerrittM on March 18, 2010, 3:43 PM

I like the advice cited by Dr. Jennifer Shu, the pediatrician quoted in this article. “If you can afford it, always buy a seat for your infant, instead of holding the baby on your lap.”
However, I feel that the airlines should charge a seat for every infant, no matter what age. Infants are not allowed to sit on a passenger’s lap on a car, why is this an acceptable practice on a plane? The advantage to this is that when parents have to shell out additional money for that seat, there could be fewer babies on the plane.

Posted By Marlene on March 18, 2010, 3:45 PM

Unless there is a dire emergency that requires a baby or toddler to be on a *long distance* flight (more than 3 or 4 hours), parents should not fly with young children. It's not too big a sacrifice to listen to a screaming infant for a couple of hours on a domestic hop, but to be subjected to that for multiple hours on a long haul is cruel and unusual punishment. And, yes, I am a parent. And, yes, my kids did not fly long distances until they were old enough to know how to act. We did this out of consideration for others. That seems to be a lost virtue - thinking of the comfort of those around us. Just as many apparently don't think twice about carting a screaming child onto an airplane, they also don't think twice about blabbing into their cell phones in public places, playing their music loud on the beach or at the pool (ever hear of an IPOD, people?), etc. If you know that what you are doing is going to be potentially bothersome to those around you, don't do it. And just because you say noise doesn't bother you doesn't mean that it doesn't bother others. C-O-U-R-T-E-S-Y, people.

Posted By Considerate Traveler on March 18, 2010, 3:46 PM

Babies may be terrible, but pale in comparison to toddlers and irritating elementary age kids who have been told all their lives how fascinating they are to adults. Running, screaming, and annoying other passengers is commonplace and the parents I've seen are oblivious.

And yes, if you point it out, they say you are a child-hater. My sister's kids are great on planes, just like they are in other public places, because she's a good parent. I have to assume otherwise when I see these little brats roaming the plane while their parents ignore them and act like the rest of the cabin is one great big pool of babysitters. Ugh.

I'd buy tickets for a childfree flight in a heartbeat.

Posted By Sarah on March 18, 2010, 3:50 PM

None of us are perfect although we often seem to convince ourselves that everyone else is the problem.

We're not in the company of those flying with us for THAT long. If all passengers made their best effort to not impinge on everyone else around them as much as possible, and then if we all exercised some tolerance and kindness with each other, I think we would be surprised at how much more enjoyable all of our flights would be. To say nothing of life in general.

Posted By Susan on March 18, 2010, 3:58 PM

I always make a point of traveling only on those air carriers who require parents to place their under 5 year old offspring in a kennel and baggage area while on the plane. Voila! No problems!

Posted By Jaxown on March 18, 2010, 4:11 PM

I'm very sad to see so much child-bashing. The majority of parents try to amuse their child(ren) and keep them quiet and comfortable while flying. But sometimes a long flight is not an option. My only child was 4 months old when my mother died. (By the way he was quiet and peaceful on the entire west cost to east coast round trip flight.) But what would the irritable child-intolerant have had me do--leave an infant with a babysitter for days? Skip my mother's funeral? The next time we flew with him--at 2 years an intolerant single young woman in front of us, complained before we ever left the gat and my son didn't cry one bit. Fortunately she was moved to a different seat. However, I will never complain about any child on a flight. We all need to be tolerant. I'd take a lap-child any day over a 300 lb person sitting next to me.

Posted By dlh on March 18, 2010, 4:20 PM

I travel for a living. While a wailing child may interrupt my usually hard-won nap, I always know that it is just as difficult for the parents as it is for their fellow travelers. Sometimes, no matter how attentive and experienced the parents may be, there is nothing to be done. There are things that upset me much more than children on planes.
- Touring or high school groups traveling together and feeling the need to gather at a row (seems always to be mine!) in order to continue chatting with their fellow adventurers.
- Business people who gab incessantly on their cell phones both before take-off and after landing (please don't let cell phone use on airplanes be approved!). Unless it is something saucy and entertaining )I don't need to hear your one-sided conversation.
- Heavily perfumed travelers. Big no-no.
- Inconsiderate recliners. Leg room and space is a challenge for all of us on todays airplanes. If you are on the shorter side, and don't have long legs, please don't fling your seat back to its maximum incline if you can help it. I'm 5"9 and rarely lean back out of courtesy for the passenger behind me.
These are a few of my least favorite things...

With that said, by all means parents, if your child is kicking the back of my seat, pulling my hair or throwing things up and over - please pay attention and do your best to stop the behavior. And fast! I like your children, I do - just not nearly as much as you do...

Posted By SB on March 18, 2010, 4:33 PM

The American Indians, when they traveled as a tribe and were set upon by enemies, had mothers of tiny infants place their fingers over the baby's nostrils to keep it from crying out - since infants with nostrils pinched will normally try to breathe only through their mouths and won't cry, thereby revealing the tribe's hiding places to enemies. That might not be such a bad idea - temporarily applied of course - for the basic noise problem. We also used droplets of Bourbon on babies gums to relieve teething pain. Anything left over was promptly consumed. Old remedies still work.

Posted By TravelDude on March 18, 2010, 4:45 PM

So much hate and self righteousness in these comments, on both sides. Most of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

This comment thread smacks of the same accusatory and hate filled language as when articles are run about overweight passengers. But, you think, "overweight passengers are only overweight because they CHOOSE to be". Yeah, well, children are a choice as well, so think of it that way. And if the airline is going to make a fat person buy two seats for the comfort and safety of the other passengers, why should parents traveling with an infant not have to buy two seats? Similar to a fat person's girth spilling over into my seat, a squirmy baby is just as bad, kicking and grabbing at me throughout the entire flight. Either way, my personal space has been impeded.

But what all of these debates really do is just pit us against each other in mini battlefronts as a way to divide our collective anger over how lousy air travel has become due to the airlines themselves.

If we all re-focused our energies on demanding appropriate customer service and reasonable travel accommodations (larger seats, meals, blankets, etc) from the airlines, some of these situations might resolve themselves. Or at least not seem like such a big deal.

Posted By Jessica on March 18, 2010, 5:07 PM

As stated in an earlier comment, this discussion will forever be stuck in a stalemate.
That being said, there is nothing anyone can do about annoying babies, toddlers and grownups except prepare yourself as well as possible with headphones (god bless BOSE) or earplugs, sleep masks, moist wipes (use over mouth for intolerable smells from babies AND adults) and anything else that an intrepid traveler can think of to ensure a pleasant flight. Most of the time these will work; sometimes they won't. Sort of like life, eh?

Posted By LLR on March 18, 2010, 5:27 PM

I agree 100% with the poster who suggested a sound-proofed cabin section just for babies and toddlers. I would ALWAYS fly with an airline that did that, and I was able to sit in an adult cabin with peace and quiet. Especially on the long-haul Transatlantic flights, it's a living hell if there's a crying baby, a chair back kicker, or toddlers permitted to run through the cabin willy nilly. I've endured all those things.
To add to objectionable adults, add those whose native foods cause a very pungent perspiration!!

Posted By Sue on March 18, 2010, 5:38 PM

Give me a break people, maybe intolerant ignorant people without children shouldn't be allowed on airplanes - you should be required to charter a private plane. (I totally agree with you Jaxown, I'd take a lap child next to me any day over some obese person loping over into my seat or someone that had one too many drinks etc.) My Mom was diagnosed with cancer the same day my first child was born and we lived in different countries - I was to deny a dying woman visits with her 1st granchild because some ignorant intolerant person doesn't think babies should be able to fly? Or I should not have spent time with my dying Mother undergoing cancer treatment? I did then and have since travelled ALOT between the two contires with my now 3 children and usually without my husband. My kids are fantastic travellers. They are no more annoying than anyone else. I have worked very hard to make sure of that. My kids and I are paying customers just like the rest of you and they have just as much right to a seat on a commercial flight as any other paying customer. That being said I do acknowledge there are not so great parents out there that shouldn't be flying with thier children if they are not willing to take responsiblity for keeping their kids happy onboard. I have always recieved tons of praise for my kids behavior while traveling but I also worked very hard to make sure my kids were well behaved and entertained.
Tips: make sure you feed or nurse a baby on take off and decent to keep thier ears comfy. Bring lots of toys especially ones they have never seen before, and pacifiers even if your child doesn't usually take one- they might while flying. Juice in a sippy is good too. I also always bring a pain reliever in case thier little ears just can't take it. For toddlers it is key to have tons of snacks, lolly-pops for take off and decent or gum if your kid knows how to chew it. I alwasy buy a bunch of little toys to amuse them, its' more fun if they are new. Coloring books and a charged portable DVD player with a new movie and a few old favorites. I also always allow them to bring their own blanket and a favorite stuffed animal in their own carry on bag. My last tip is to offer a reward at our destiantion for good behavior on our flights.
One last thought - usually if you have complaints about other people, kids included, someone has complaints about you too.

Posted By JLG on March 18, 2010, 5:58 PM

I have a child, and I am shocked and annoyed when I witness complacent and lazy parents who ignore their child's crying, or allow the child to kick seats, throw things, etc. There is no excuse for it, period, and those of you justifying that behavior are probably the ones who allow it. My husband and I thoughtfully planned our trips, and did not fly with our daughter until she was almost 1 year old. Babies are not meant to be in that environment, and honestly, it's not fair to anyone. We encouraged family members to come and visit us, because it is such a quest to travel with a baby and all of their things. Additionally, we do not take her to movies that are not for children. It's inappropriate, and unfair to those who work hard for their money and go to a movie for entertainment. No one is going to hear someone else's baby crying or toddlers running rampant. It's a movie theater, not a bounce house or a daycare.

Posted By Tonya on March 18, 2010, 6:09 PM

I agree. Babies can be really upsetting on a long/short flight. I don't think they should be allowed on flights over 2 hours. I was on a flight to Paris and the baby cried for 3/4 of the time. I have learned since to bring earplugs/ipod to block out the sound. Some parents could care less. The other annoying thing is the young kids who keep kicking the back of your seat. Nothing will block this out and I have actually turned around and told the child to "knock it off" since the parents did nothing after I had asked them politely. I scared the child but he/she stopped thank heaven.

Posted By ledris on March 18, 2010, 6:32 PM

While on a coast to coast trip, a youngster, say 3 or 4, kicked and kicked my seat. I asked his mother to please help me out, her respnse was, "He's a very active child, what am I supposed to do?" I involved the flight attendent, and finally got satisfaction. But, I was outraged to have to go to that step...what happened to Nite-Quil, bourbon or something, like parenting?

Posted By Lou on March 18, 2010, 6:40 PM

Statistics pretty much guarantee there will be at least one unpleasant, inconsiderate individual on every single flight. When you complain about everything and everyone around you...chances are, that individual is YOU.

Posted By Kim on March 18, 2010, 6:45 PM

I can't even express my shock at the hateful comments made. We have grandchildren who have flown several times. They have neither been 'perfect' or 'horrid' on some of those flights, but certainly have been controlled by the adults traveling with them. For the crying baby situation--stressing out an already stressed, desperate parent only makes your situation worse. It is very helpful to have a stranger engage the child with smiles, little games that entertain, produce an object that the child might find interesting. And console the parent; once she/he calms down, the child usually follows. But believe me the hateful approach is guarenteed to increase the tension. Please be a peace-maker.

Posted By Karen on March 18, 2010, 6:46 PM

Steve wondered: "What is so pressing that they need to take an infant on such a long, uncomfortable trip?"

My father-in-law died two weeks after our daughter was born, so we had to make a unexpected transcontinental flight with our baby to the funeral. THAT'S what so pressing.

Posted By Mike on March 18, 2010, 7:04 PM

I think they should have separate areas or separate flights for people with children under a certain age

Posted By Kathy on March 18, 2010, 7:20 PM

If the airlines had any sense, they would redesign the seating on planes to create a "children's section". Think of the possibilities:
1. You could have seating that could accommodate child restraint/travel/booster seat
2. There could be a designated bathroom for diaper changing (with an actual counter)
3. The entertainment options could be specifically chosen for children
4. Children would be contained in a safe area (so they aren't running up and down the main aisles - which I am certain causes problems for flight attendants as they try to do their jobs).
5. There could be a curtain to reduce the noise of unhappy travelers (child and adult).

I would certainly use an airline that offered a children's section, it would make my trip begin and end on a much more pleasant note.

Posted By Grace on March 18, 2010, 8:03 PM

I am amazed at the intolerance of so many of these comments. I have had more obnoxious adult travelers than children (perhaps these are the same people who hate having children on flights?) I used to fly with my three children, by myself, and rarely had a problem that I couldn't handle. I also went prepared with the necessary snacks, art materials, favorite blanky, etc. I never tolerated rudeness from my kids-something not in abundant supply with a lot of parents.
As for those who ask, "Why would you take your kids on a flight?" When you live 1500 miles from your family, you want to visit before they're 7! Unbelievable! For all of you nasty travelers out there sans kids-buy a good set of earplugs! I hope you never have children-you don't deserve them.

Posted By Ann on March 18, 2010, 8:28 PM

Kids kicking? Talk to their parents. Noise, put in earplugs or your Bose noise neutralizer. Ugly kid? Use a face mask.

Posted By jim ure on March 18, 2010, 9:00 PM

I don't see how people think a family can travel without their children! I have been an expat in Asia for 8 years and yes, I do take my family by plane to visit the US every summer. An ocean liner is not an option.

I think people have prejudice against kids and it isn't always founded. Recently I was flying, just my 5 year old and I. He is a model passenger and doesn't make a peep, his first flight was at 7 weeks of age, from LAX to BKK, about 17 hours.
Anyway the man in front of me turned around and asked if my son could stop kicking his chair. HIS FEET DIDN"T EVEN REACH THE CHAIR and I told the man as politely as possible. What a jerk.

I think it is completely appalling how much Americans openly hate children of all ages. Other countries celebrate and treasure children. Maybe Americans could move from "loathing" to "tolerating".

Posted By CanCan on March 18, 2010, 10:51 PM

Unless there a serious emergency (sudden sickness or sudden death), I don't understand why you would want to have a child under 2 years old on a flight. While annoying the passengers is one thing, from a germ standpoint - I wouldn't want my infant on an aircraft that is subjected to re-circulated air that has the germs and viruses of the other 150-400 passengers in that aircraft. I would think the little tyke needs to develop a better immune system before getting hit with that much stuff.

If you're worried about Junior (or Miss Junior) seeing his grandparents - why not have the grandparents visit you?

That being said - when I do see a little one on the plane, I do my best to keep him/her entertained.

Posted By 'zilla on March 18, 2010, 10:53 PM

Tonya - I'd fly with you and your kid(s) any time. Thank you for being a considerate parent / human being. I had begun to think that there weren't any parents left who thought it was a good idea to teach their kids how to behave BEFORE taking them into quiet / formal / enclosed spaces. You rule.

Posted By rainy-day on March 18, 2010, 11:25 PM

I have 4 mostly grown kids of my own--I know how hard it is to keep them quiet and entertained. However, I always managed to do a fairly good job of it. What I have a hard time with is the parents who refuse to take care of their children--not just while flying, but anywhere. Kids are a huge responsibility--if you aren't up to being actively involved in every aspect of their lives then don't have them.

I have spent long flights entertaining other people's children rather than have myself and every other person on the flight driven crazy. Sometimes I can't be the entertainment committee, though. I spent 11 hours on a flight from Athens to NYC last summer with a 3-4 year old boy directly behind me who kicked my chair the entire time he was seated. He kicked my chair so hard that my chair (and head)literally flew forward into the wall in front of me--this happened multiple times. When he wasn't seated and kicking my chair his mother allowed him to get up and run up and down the aisles into the first class section where I saw him hit several passengers. Mom never did or said anything to him the entire flight. These are the kids that give us all headaches.

Posted By Kristine on March 19, 2010, 2:37 AM

I am taking my children to Arizona to see their Grandfather. How could I not travel with them? I have to agree with the other posters that adults have caused me much greater frustration traveling than children ever could have. The drunken Australian that drooled on my shoulder while his wife did nothing, being one of many. I plan to have ways of keeping my children busy. Snacks, Dora on Ipod, etc, but my very headstrong two year old could possibly throw a fit. She is not a quiet girl. I will do everything in my power to control her, but sometimes there is nothing you can do but keep trying to distract her. She is two and her grandfather has yet to meet her, so the chance that she may upset some annoying little snit is not a reason for me to take three days to drive instead of three hours to fly.

Posted By Kerry on March 19, 2010, 3:57 AM

I'm one of those people who prefer to hear a child crying than to hear the parent arguing, cajoling and playing with a 4 year old on a nighttime flight for 2 hours!! If kids cry and get whiny, that usually means they'll get tired in a bit and go to sleep. Listening to a mom "entertain" her child for two hours straight is MURDER!

Posted By princilla on March 19, 2010, 8:28 AM

Amazing, but not surprising that the blogger who suggested that those of us disturbed by the behavior of some traveling children should fly "First Class". My guess is she is one of those parents who is convinced her child is an angel and others would say not. I have so often felt sorry for a crying baby on a plane. The pain in their ears must be unbearable. However, I don't think children should be banned from flying. Without transcontinental flights, some children would never meet their grandparents for the first time, and we should remember that some US families live and work outside the US. I have often thought that the airlines could be more responsible in seating parents with children. It would seem to me that the back of the plane where the drone of the engines is the loudest would be the best place for all babies and children. Mixing them randomly with other passengers is just nonsense.
And, I must ask the blogger who suggests that simply by asking parents to stop their children from kicking the seat is the best option ... what planet are you from? Have you ever done that? Well, I can tell you this .... parents do not like to be confronted about their childrens behavior. Something has happened to our culture when it comes to disciplining children. The attitude is my child is an angel .... how dare you think otherwise. How many times have you observed a parent with a child who is disturbing the passengers around them only to see that the parent totally ignores what is going on. That is precisely why some people take the attitude that children should be banned on all flights. I understand their frustration, but I do not agree. Bottom line, is parents should be responsible parents, and airlines should act more responsibly in trying to remedy the problem of mixing babies and children with other passengers.

Posted By billbeckings on March 19, 2010, 8:42 AM

My daughter and I were amongst the "no tolerance level for babies" group in restaurants and airplanes, but of course what goes around comes around and now we are the ones getting the death looks as we board with our family of two boys, age 21 months and 4 years. Daddy sits with the 4 year old and sets up his digital DVD player and he's all taken care of for the flight. Recently, on a trip to Florida when the little guy was fussing and ready for a nap the flight attendant came by and with one of the drink napkins lightly fluttered it down his face repeatedly. He was asleep in just about 30 seconds. We considered that a miracle and will be ever grateful to her, as were our fellow travelers. It was an AA flight and I asked her name so I could send in a favorable comment but she demurred. What an angel. Also, for our sake as well as fellow passengers, we limit our flights to no more than 2 1/2 hours in length, i.e., from Chicago to New York or Chicago to Florida. As for the restaurant fiasco, well, you can only do so much!

Posted By Eve Niimi on March 19, 2010, 9:58 AM

Is Hate the real word to use. I know it use to find it annoying and after having a daughter, I tried not to let it bother me. One time my daughter was 5 months and we went to Pittsburgh, the pressure was hurting her ears and she was crying. I kept asking my husband to ask for water to fill in the bottle, but I can't explain whey he didn't ask. I kept having annoying eyes looked upon me until I finally asked for the water myself. I know many of us parents try are best to soothing a crying babies, and others don't do anything. It does get annoying when some parents don't take the initiative and calm the child and easy the pain from the pressure. My daughter use to kick the front seat, I would apologize and then learned to get the seat in from of us for my husband and my daughter and I would be behind him. But, when she did I was on her case each time. I try my best to be very considerate, since I know how annoying it is for me.

Posted By Happynewyorker on March 19, 2010, 10:11 AM

Oh, how I hate flying with my kids! I do it, mainly because I live across the ocean from my family and many of them can't afford to come visit me, but as little as possible. I agree with all those who say it's a terror (no pun intended! NTSA please don't come visit me...). But I PROMISE you, as torturous as it is for those without the kids, it is 10 times worse for me, and probably for most parents with any sense of decency (of course there are some smug ones who swear "my kids are always good when we fly - I have never had a problem with them because I'm such a good mom!").

My kids usually are very well-behaved in restaurants and the like because they know that if they are not, the consequences (i.e., removal) will be swift and certain. But last time I checked, removing a kid from an airplane when the plane is moving is frowned on by those killjoy flight attendants. So, in all seriousness, is removing a kid from his/her seat at certain times in the flight. So they test me, CONSTANTLY. I'm forever aware of what they are doing, and trying desperately to keep them quiet and entertained and not kicking the seat in front of them. I swear I do not do this on the ground!

I have found it does get better as they get older. They have longer attention spans, and can watch a movie without moving for a much longer period of time. My 4 year-old son, who used to be a demon with his crying and kicking and loud questions (all of which, I hasten to add, I constantly attempted to stop, with the degree of success depending on how long we had been in the air), was an angel on the last transatlantic flight we took. His 2 year-old sister, on the other hand, who is usually quiet and calm, took the occasion to shriek to the flight attendants "I NEED TO POO!!!" in a fruitless attempt to be let out of her seat when we were taking off. We won't be flying long-haul with her again till she is 18.

Here's a tip for those who can travel with more than one adult: divide and conquer, preferably in 2 different rows. May seem obvious, but don't EVER let 2 kids sit next to each other on a flight.

Happy trails!

Posted By Ann W on March 19, 2010, 10:17 AM

It's unfair to say that EVERYONE with children is clueless about dealing with their kids on flights. That being said, there are MANY that just don't pay attention or don't care that their child is creating a massive disturbance. I fly often and have also seen it all - the parents that let their child run up and down the aisles without even blinking an eye, the parents that let their child kick my seat the entire flight without saying anything once, the parents that let their child cry without trying to soothe or quiet them. What is wrong with these parents???? You have to understand that you are in the minority on flights. I would think you wouldn't want to take your child on a long, boring trip if you didn't have to. That's great if you want to visit the relatives, but then make sure you have a child that travels well - start with shorter distances, getting them used to being confined like on a bus or train so they can get acclimated. Build up to a long flight if you have to, but make sure you have done everything you can to ensure your child is comfortable and occupied. I think many people who have reacted to this blog, who are defensive about taking their children on flights and not understanding why we childless people are so annoyed with THEIR children, are just plain selfish and clueless. How would you feel if we went to the movies and sat behind you and threw popcorn on you the whole time, or when you were trying to sleep perhaps stood next to your bed and constantly kicked it???? Grab a clue unresponsive parents, and thanks to those parents that have fostered a well-mannered child and one that is comfortable traveling.

Posted By KRS on March 19, 2010, 11:28 AM

I guess all these child hating folks were born full adults and never got on anyone's nerves. I spent about 5 years of flying every single week and there were plenty of flights when I would have preferred listening to an unhappy baby then some of the 'delightful' adults...probably the same gems that think everyone else is annoying.

Posted By Kris on March 19, 2010, 12:59 PM

On my last flight I saw the father of this little 2 year old get so mad at his child I felt like turning around and saying something to him to lay off. What he didn't realize is that the child was fine until we started to change altitude and even my ears were starting to hurt until I popped some gum in my mouth to alleviate the pressure. That poor kids ears must have been so painful and then when we finally descended both my ears and the kid stopped crying.

Posted By Jacqui on March 19, 2010, 1:27 PM

I strongly dislike unruly, undisciplined kids and parents who are completely clueless. Screaming babies are most annoying on long flights and in restaurants. Once a baby threw up all over me and in my purse. The flight attendant just laughed and refused to get me a paper towel or help in any way. Another one screamed for 6 hours non-stop and when I told the mother to take it to the bathroom (it smelled bad) or calm it down, another passenger intervened and thought I was out of line. She never got up once!

Posted By Lyla on March 19, 2010, 2:40 PM

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Posted By Blog Editor on March 19, 2010, 2:44 PM

Most of my family live in the Washington DC area and we live in Washington state. Every summer I would take the kids and fly to see my family. My husband almost never came with me since summer is the busiest time for construction. For the most part our kids behaved well, in large part because I brought surprises for them and they could each bring something to play with. But in spite of my best efforts, there were times when they'd had enough of flying, especially on the second leg of the trip. I'll never forget the time one of my three got fussy. Two rows ahead of me there were two parents with one child and a woman in the row ahead of me said to them in a carrying voice that I'm sure she meant me to hear, "It's nice to see that SOME people know how to control their children."

Posted By Bonnie Dickson on March 19, 2010, 4:09 PM

As a parent of 2 small children, I understand flying with children is essential if other family members are not close by. I have traveled with both my daughters (by MYSELF) when they were 2 years old & 6 weeks for the grandparents that lived in another state. Very long day, but they did well (lots of snacks, diapers, movies, new toys, pillows and diaper bag were my survival kit).
I have to say traveling with children is not necessarily fun for us parents either, Give us a break. Most parents do try to keep their children happy & not annoying. I have to say I got more help & consideration from other passengers than the airline staff.

If you don't tolerate other people's children on planes, good chances you don't have/shouldn't have children or you forgot what it was like to have children. Being cooped up in tiny airplane seats for extended period of time makes everyone a little crazy & cranky, children are just more vocal about it.

Posted By tigger on March 20, 2010, 6:35 AM

We've been puked on, spilled on, kicked in the back repeatedly, even after asking to stop the kicking and tolerated continuous wailing, screaming and crying. Yes I'm an ogre with no kids. Leave the little monsters at home if you refuse to learn some of the methods contained in this chain of blog comments to keep them quiet, or at least mostly quiet. Especially on overseas flights.

Posted By Dan Watts on March 20, 2010, 12:58 PM

A simple fact of the world is that it has other people in it, and you have to put up with them. A baby is no worse than all of the people who immediately begin flipping open cell phones and bellowing into them after landing, or the person who tries to stuff elephant sized bags into the overhead. Flying is annoying. Get over it.

When my oldest son was a year old, we took a family trip with my parents to see my grandparents. I booked the return flight for naptime, so that the baby would sleep on the way home. During preboarding, the baby was crying because he wanted to go to sleep and couldn't until we boarded. We were heckled by the Southwest flight attendant as we boarded who said "It's going to be a great flight today as these very thoughtful people have elected to share their beautiful baby with us! Let's give them a big hand!" We were then booed by several passengers as we boarded. Once we boarded I gave the baby a bottle and he fell asleep immediately. Not a peep for the whole flight.

I refrained from making some comment as we exited the plane.

Posted By Dawn on March 20, 2010, 5:49 PM

I think a lot of people here are mistakenly seeing this issue as an either-or situation. The parents out there saying that most parents try to soothe/control their kids during flights are right. But that doesn't mean there aren't parents who do nothing (and there are -- I'm sure you've all seen them in a store). The people saying children have made a flight completely miserable are also right. The problem is that you remember those miserable flights much more than your average flights.

I was on a flight to Hong Kong and was literally surrounded by kids under the age of 2 (row behind me, in front of me, row to my right and the row behind that). The kids were crying. The vast majority of the trip. The parents tried to keep them quiet; it's a 13-hour flight and I don't expect anyone (especially not a kid) to be silent the entire trip. I busted out my iPod and some Tylenol PM and did my best to ignore them.

But I think it's impossible to ignore the seat kicking. I experienced this on a flight from Boston to LA -- the kid literally kicked the back of my seat the entire time. I asked the mother several times to have her son stop; she tried, but the son wouldn't listen. I finally asked the mother to switch seats with her son, at which point it became my neighbor's problem for the last 90 minutes (sorry!). If your child will not refrain from kicking a seat when told not to, you shouldn't fly with your child. Those that say the non-parents (or people flying without kids) should pay to fly business/first class -- why should others have to spend more because your child is engaging in behavior that pretty much everyone agrees is inappropriate?

So to sum up, I think a parents have an obligation to try to soothe/entertain/control their kids on flights; a lot of the crying can be ignored with the help of earplugs or an iPod; but seat-kicking -- that's the unforgivable one.

Posted By Bri on March 20, 2010, 6:31 PM

i personally think that all these people that go out in public places should expect to see babies. they can take prozac for their anxiety disorder if a little baby crying bothers them. i also feel anyone on a public airplane with no tolerance ought to be hiring their own private jet and get the heck out of the public.

Posted By celeste on March 20, 2010, 9:59 PM

Why does it matter if someone has kids or not? I'm childless by choice and have plenty of friends with kids that I enjoy being around, but only when they're behaving and in the appropriate environment. Why should I have to compromise my right to traveling without the annoyance of unruly children, or paying $10 to go to the theater and have my time ruined by an inconsiderate parent who doesn't make their child shut up during the movie, or try to shop while children are allowed to run around the store like it's a playground? None of these are acceptable to those of us who choose not to have children of our own, so for you parents who expect us to just accept it because you have a kid is just ridiculous! I would love nothing more than to have one day a week where I could do any of these things without children being present. I'm all for adult-only flights, adult-only movie times, and adult-only shopping times. If your kid is typically fussy when you take it places, do others a favor who REALLY don't want to deal with it and stay home! I completely agree with the CNN poster, not everyone thinks your kid is cute.

Posted By Lisza on March 21, 2010, 1:27 AM

There is a reason why airplanes don't ban babies and small children: because they will be future customers, and their parents are current customers. Also, many babies and small children do fine for most of their flights. Yes, I was once kept up for hours by a baby crying half the way to Ireland...but the flight was safe and on-time, so what's the big deal, really? If a baby is crying or a small child is being bratty for 3 hours of your 80-year life, put things in perspective. We all WERE babies, and most of us will HAVE babies. Most grandparents want to see their grandbabies, and therefore, many people will take babies on planes. End of story.

Posted By Sarah on March 21, 2010, 10:41 AM

There are those people out there who feel that children should not be allowed to fly. I wasn't happy with the 300 lb plus person that I had to fly next to who didn't fit in the seat, smelled like he hadn't bathed in months and proceeded to eat cold greasy cheeseburgers out of a bag all the way from Detroit to Las Vagas. I litterally couldn't eat for almost two days.
I have two grandchildren who live accross country that I would fly with any day, as opposed to this. I guess when it all comes down to it, when we choose to fly coach, you get what you get. If you want the ultimate comfort flight, spend the money and fly first class. If that's not enough, buy yourself some noise cancelling head phones. Most parents are very aware when their children are uncomfortable, and usually their body language indicates they are too! Suck it up, in most cases it's only a few hours. On the up side, you get to walk away when you get off the plane, the parents are gearing up for round two..

Posted By Donna Parkhurst on March 21, 2010, 10:42 AM

I find it interesting that no one mentioned the parents who act as though they and their kids are the cutest things in the world and we all want to be subject to their "show". I've seen kids that were quietly playing and the parent would start talking at the top of their voice at the kid, carrying on a conversation in baby talk and winding up their kid until it started screaming and talking at the top of their lungs along with the parent. Talk about poor modeling behaviour, the parent is teaching the child to be disrespectful of others and that it is OK to intrude on other people's space. Kids need to be taught that other people need to be taken into consideration. It is exactly the same as people who laugh and scream and talk into their cell phones incessantly in a crowded area. Children need to be taught what is appropriate behaviour and their parents need to show them what it is. No wonder so many kids grow up to be the kind of adult that both parents and non-parents complain about.

Posted By Susan Mellott on March 21, 2010, 2:51 PM

I have children and have never traveled without them, including numerous plane trips. I bought them seats as infants/toddlers, gave thought in advance to ways to keep them quiet and entertained and felt responsible to work to keep them happy during the flight. There was the occasional, brief "I'm ready to get out now" fuss, but fortunately was very limited. That having been said, I very much understand how upsetting children can be on flights, and it always comes down to how the parent(s) handle the problem. I have suffered the infamous seat kicking SO MANY times. Every time I have first told the parent of the problem and politely asked them to please get the child to stop. The usual response is NOT helpful -- a blank look, an eyeroll, and "he/she is just a kid!" are common. This is the real irritant, that so many parents make no effort to help the situation. Don't allow your child to kick the seat in front of him, make some effort to calm, distract, whatever your crying child. No, children aren't robots and sometimes they don't behave quietly, we all get that. However, I am much more sympathetic if you make some effort to improve the negative situation caused by you and your child. Should be pretty simple, but I am not thrilled when I have to resort the "if looks could kill you'd be dead" and complaining to the flight attendant because you are too lazy and inconsiderate to monitor your child.

Posted By Susan on March 21, 2010, 5:54 PM

Many of us with kids (I have 3) would prefer to not take our kids on planes. However, we often have no choice but to fly. My husband and I work for the government and we serve our country by living overseas. We must fly our kids with us back and forth. If our fellow passengers could try to remember that many families have to fly, it would be appreciated. Our kids usually behave well, but a long flight is taxing for anyone. It might help if the airlines could have more entertaining programs and movies on tv for children.

Posted By Maddy on March 21, 2010, 9:35 PM

I made a habit of 'preparing for the worst, while hoping for the best'. I used to make quarterly trips from Boston to California with my babies/toddlers. One thing I would NEVER allow was kicking of the seat or banging on the tray of the seat in front of us. Sometimes that meant holding my child upright for long periods of time.
I also learned not to start nursing / or give a bottle until the plane was actually taking off - not just rolling down the runway, because the plane often sits on the runway for awhile.
I brought the children's favorite books and a new one. A favorite toy and when they were toddlers, a bunch of cheap new toys (Dollar store!) each wrapped in old comics, which I would dole out throughout the trip. NOT when they were misbehaving, but when I could see they were starting to get 'fidgety'. You don't want to reward misbehavior.
And of course bring more than enough formula, snacks that you know they will like, and extra clothes and diapers.

Posted By Elisa on March 22, 2010, 11:49 AM

Airlines --- Please make a family section in the back of the plane.
We always take the back seats in the plane. That way the middle seats are most likely to be vacant and give the kids some more room. I have even suggested to several airlines that they should have Family sections in the back of the plane. If my kid is having a bad flight is is easier to share with sympathetic flyers.

Also, for people who travel without small children, I would recommend to travel as if you have small children with you. Sit in the park, listen to street musicians, and talk to the locals. We have been to 15 countries with our 2 and 6 year olds and the experience is always fantastic.

Posted By EWB on March 22, 2010, 3:11 PM

I fly several times a year and at least one of those trips is VERY long - 7 plus hours.

The last one I took was a red-eye. The lady sitting next to me had 2 small kids (not infants) with her. She was prepared to keep the kids distracted. She played all kinds of games with them - word games, hand games board games, you name it, they played it. ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! They made noise almost the entire flight while EVERYONE around them was trying to sleep!

Around 2 AM, as I slept, she needed to go to the bathroom. As I had the aisle seat, she woke me up to go. Then she came back and woke me up again. Then 20 minutes later, one of the kids had to go (and come). Then 20 minutes after that, it was the other kid. Why not take all the kids at once?

I finally said something about the noise and they quieted down for 10 minutes - then back to "annoying" level.

The ironic part was that I did a stranger a favor and switched seats with him so he could sit next to his buddy. No good deed goes unpunished!

Anyway, my opinion is - NO KIDS ON PLANES!

I liked above comments that said "They shouldn't travel until they understand how to behave."

Here, here!

For those of you who said: "What if you family lives really far away?"

Then wait until the kid(s) are old enough or have them come to you. ANY THING ELSE IS SELFISH. Here's the definition of selfish; I'm traveling with my kids no matter how annoying, and if you don't like it, don't bother me. Put in earplugs or move."

When one kid/family feels it's OK to bother dozens of other people, THAT'S SELFISH.

If your kid is too young to travel without bothering anyone, then it's too young to travel.

I'll shoot you looks and even say something if your bothering a lot of people around you.

And for the person who said I should buy a business/first class seat if I didn't want to be bothered, THAT'S SELFISH!!! If you don't want to be selfish about the situation, then YOU should buy ME (and anyone else who's annoyed) a business/first class seat so I have no reason to complain about YOUR kid.

The same goes for movies, theater, and any other public place where one person can bother/disturb several people around them.

Posted By Mr. Biker on March 22, 2010, 3:54 PM

I am from New Zealand, pregnant with my first child and living in the United States. I have taken the 14 hour plus flight many times and never once been bothered by a baby or child. Do people really expect us not to travel home so my daughter can see her grandparents and great grandparents? What did bother me was the 300lb woman I sat next to on a nine hour flight from London to Chicago. I paid for a full seat, yet she took up half my seat. Babies aren't the only annoying people on flights. Most parents are going to do their best to calm their children, maybe it's time all the baby-haters chill out too.

Posted By Amy on March 22, 2010, 4:24 PM

There is a place for kids on aircraft. Either the right or left wing. Or the baggage compartment with the luggage and pets.

Posted By Pete on March 22, 2010, 9:24 PM

There is a solution for most of this. I want the airlines to give me back my personal space in coach! Make the seats wider and make the rows further apart. The stress level during flight would be greatly reduced. No more seat back kicking or large person spill over. You could be further away from an annoying seatmate and no more recliner in your lap. Alas, I think a comfortable flight in coach is a thing of the past so we need to be tolerant and realize that this too shall pass and sometimes makes for great travel horror stories.

Posted By Clair on March 23, 2010, 3:18 AM

My kids are awesome on planes, because they have been trained from an early age to be considerate in public. It can and should be done. I bring suckers and gum for other people's kids - I hate seeing a kid crying because of cabin pressure and doesn't understand why. Don't forget to ask the parents first.

Posted By Kevin on March 23, 2010, 10:41 AM

As a mother of 4 with a pilot for a husband, we travel frequently with ALL 4 kiddos. We haven't braved an overseas flight yet, but I know it's coming.
Advice:
* Get a flight that will allow them to sleep (night flights are great!)
* Buy a seat on the plane for your child and use a car seat or CARES restraint system (They will get the window).
* Bring their favorite food(s) to last them throughout the flight. Don't buy greasy food from the terminal, it can make them throw-up.
* Bring comfort items: blanket, stuffed animal, and other toys.
* If your child is teething, give them OraJel or Motrin before the flight, and something to suck or chew on, as they probably have sinus issues going on with that as well.
* Bring a DVD player, or load up an iPhone with some movies. If they are old enough, let them pick it out. Buy a new movie they haven't seen yet and surprise them.
* Walk WITH your child up and down the plane if they are restless, as it will responsibly allow them to explore, and you get to stretch your legs.
* While taking off and landing, make sure they are chewing or sucking on something for their ears.
* We also bring new coloring books, paper, and a fresh set of crayons for our artists.

As for people who disapprove of children on flights, how is it any different with any other aspect of parenting? Everyone is different. I just ignore those who wish to be left alone, and chat with those who understand that you can't always afford to do this any other way with time or money.
I guess my thoughts are you can be part of the solution, or you can just cause more problems.

I have been on flights where my children barely made a peep, and on others where they just weren't feeling well created a personal hell for everyone (including me) on the plane.. You do everything you can, because you love your child, and you don't want to inconvenience others on the flight.
Hope some of these tips help. :D

Posted By KB on March 23, 2010, 3:48 PM

Seems like some of the posters have forgotten that they themselves were once children and most likely kicked the back of someone's seat or cried uncontrollably in a public place. How about we think about what we each can do to help those parents in need. A kind word goes a long way.

Posted By Jen on March 24, 2010, 9:46 AM

I had a woman sit in the middle seat with her infant and she actually had the gall to change a poopy diaper right there!!!

I was furious!

Young mothers think we all enjoy babies... we do NOT!

I wanted to smear it on her... but I just called her an asshole and moved.

Posted By C Warmington on March 25, 2010, 2:41 PM

You know what I find annoying? People who think the world belongs to them and that flights belong only to the single, childless and arrogant. It's as if you think people like it when their infant cries and disturbs others. But the fact is, people do often need to travel with their babies, and yes sir! They even WANT to travel with their babies! It's their right. So stop your crybagging. It was a great pleasure for me on a recent flight to be seated next to a couple with a lap-child. She was fussy and her parents were tired. But I travel prepared. I opened my purse to reveal a small stuffed toy and a Tangle Jr., among other things. She was interested, and sat in my lap for two hours, looking out my window at clouds, playing with my toys and finally napping. Her parents were grateful and I enjoyed it.

Try being a human being.

Posted By Moxie Dawn on March 26, 2010, 8:06 AM

We chose not to take our son on a plane until he was three. When he finally did fly, we made sure his backpack contained everything he would need to keep him happy on the flight. Because he was taught to be respectful of others, kicking, screaming and bad behavior were never an issue in the air or on land.

On a recent flight from Orlando to Seattle there was a family with twin boys around the age of four and a girl around 8. One of the boys screamed the entire flight. Only his sister attempted to quiet him down. Both parents just closed their eyes and ignored him. Neither of them made the remotest effort to find out what his problem was or make him stop. It was a flight from hell.

I am normally very tolerant of children on flights and understanding of fussy little ones, but in this case I didn't want to slap the child, I wanted to slap the parents! There is simply no excuse for a child to scream for the entirety of a flight.

Posted By Paula on March 26, 2010, 3:06 PM

I'm a frequent long-haul passenger, and I treat small children on flights just as I would any other passenger. When a kid is kicking the back of my seat, I turn around and politely address the child to ask him or her to stop. I find that it's easier for a child to ignore a request from a parent than it is from the stranger in front of them.

I'm also pregnant with my first child and I will be flying with the baby overseas. As an ex-pat, it's just not feasible to expect all of my family to come to visit us every time.

Posted By Fiona on March 29, 2010, 7:10 AM

The thing about kids is, they aren't purfume or extra weight or bad breath or even pets. They are little people with brains and moods and behaviors all their own. Parents can KNOW all about them (to the one commenter who suggests that parents are OBLIGATED to know EVERYTHING about their children...good luck with that) and prepare with every toy, book and snack known to man, but the kids are still going to be kids. They're going to fidget and whine and have to use the bathroom. They might make noise. And adults are likely to do all of those things as well, albeit likely in a lower pitch. Children are people and part of our society and, yes, they are going to be out in public, behaving like children, behaving like people. I think it's funny that people seem to expect boarding a flying tube stuffed literally wall-to-wall with travellers is going to be anything other than loud and annoying and probably smelly and likely not the most luxurious experience that you can spend $500 and 6 hours doing. Honestly, everyone has his or her own idea of what is appropriate behavior and what is tolerable and what is "trying" and what is annoying. We're a big society of individuals and no where is that more obvious than on an airplane. It's all about expectations, people...be glad you can get safely to your destination. THAT's what you can expect; everything else is just the price of having to live among others.

Posted By Erin on March 29, 2010, 7:42 AM

I had an experience with my son when he was 5. There was an older couple in front of us and the wife had a headache. Their entire row was moving because of someone at the end of their row who had "nervous leg syndrome." The older gentleman turned around and very nastily asked if I could please stop my son from kicking the seats. I pointed out to him that my son's legs couldn't even reach the seats and then pointed out to him who the culprit really was. Needless to say, he whispered something to his wife but neither one of them addressed the grownup about the problem. The woman took something for the headache and that was the end of it.

Posted By sandpearl on March 29, 2010, 2:16 PM

Normally i would fall in the "Oh, no..kids" category, but i wanted to give an example of a positive encounter I had once. The child (probably 2-3 yrs old) was sitting in my seat section (her mother was across the aisle with an infant). I was in the window seat, the child was in the middle and a businessman was sitting in the aisle seat. In short, the child was a perfect little traveler. She colored or played with toys the entire time. I complemented the mother on the child'd behavior and she told me that since they traveled often, she and her husband had been preparing the child for travel since birth.

Posted By rlw on March 29, 2010, 3:13 PM

I'm a very frequent flyer and am always amazed at people who won't buy a seat or bring a child safety seat. This is from Wikipedia about the UA 232 crash at the Souix City airport in 1989. "Jan Brown Lohr - United 232's Senior Flight Attendant. She was forced by regulation to ask parents with "lap babies" (children without seats) aboard flight 232 to place their children on the cabin floor during the flight's final moments before impact. One of four children died from smoke inhalation. The deceased child's mother came to her at the crash site and stated "You told me to put my baby on the floor and now he's gone." Since then, Lohr has tirelessly lobbied in Washington D.C. to promote the safety of children on all civilian aircraft and airlines, asking that federal regulations require all children to have a seatbelt on every flight." Is it really worth letting your baby die to save $ on tickets. If you can't afford a seat for your child, don't go.

Posted By Patty K on March 29, 2010, 6:02 PM

Steve from traveling professor what a silly comment. I have parents who live in England. Am I not supposed to ever see them until my children reach the age of 18 and are deemed old enough to fly by people like you. If I am spending $4000 to fly transatlantic with my kids which I just did I have as much right to fly as anyone.

Posted By kaye on March 31, 2010, 3:19 PM

I have tried to calmly ask a parent to quiet their children (on a 14 hour flight where they kept screaming and making loud noises throughout) and to have them stop kicking my seat... and both times the parent's response was, "they're just children." Yes, that's true... but that is no excuse. People need to start actually parenting and be respectful to everyone else around them.
As someone who does not have children, I am growing more and more tired of parents saying, "if you had kids, you'd change your comments." If I had kids, I would try my best to make sure my child acting in an appropriate manner in public, or I would not put myself in those situations whenever possible. I understand when a baby cries due to changes in cabin pressure. That's not the kind of behavior of which I'm referring. I'm referring to children who constantly yell out and make loud noises throughout the duration of a long flight... or during a movie, etc. It's not fair to the rest of us who have also paid for the ticket and want to try to enjoy ourselves or rest. There are many parents (especially in the US, as I've rarely experienced the same behavior in other countries) who cannot or choose not to teach their children appropriate behavior. I am tired of having to deal with the consequences... as an airline passenger, a restaurant patron, a store customer, and mostly as a teacher.

Posted By al on April 3, 2010, 9:52 AM

I've taken my kids on transatlantic flights and they never made a peep. After eye-rolling and loud comments by passengers, three of them apologized when we got off the plane because my kids happily slept the whole time. My boys were 4 and 1 and I was traveling without my husband.
Did I like sitting in front of the man who demanded liquor at 8 AM or to hear his wife and him fighting the whole flight about his alcohol consumption? The man who walked the aisles constantly so people had to squeeze past him and the beverage cart to get by?
I also don't enjoy "pet people" who take their dogs everywhere. I have pets but I don't travel with them. Can I stop them from talking about their pets constantly or making faces at them while at restaurants? No. Suck it up. The world is a wide and varied place...usually the reason why most of us are traveling.

Posted By Erica on April 6, 2010, 5:02 PM

It is easy to see who the problem parents are among the comments posted, they are the ones who do not see the problem. The problem is only in part having children on a plane. Most people are rather forgiving of minor annoyances. It it the parents who fail to deal with their children who are the problems. Just like other annoying travelers, as pointed about my many postings, bad parents and unruly children are a pain. Children are not automatically a problem on a plane and crying unhappy children are tolerable if the parents are trying. Stupid parents, just like other stupid passengers, are the problem. Stupid parents are only worse because they have a child to increase the annoyance level.
As for telling parents to control their child from kicking the seat in front of them, really?? What are the odds that a parent who is so stupid they don't stop that as soon as it starts is going to respond correctly when asked to stop the child.

Posted By Greg on April 12, 2010, 12:48 PM

Babies are people, not carryons.Some behave well, some don't. Some parents are irresponsible and rude. They should be called on it.
But to say that babies should never fly, or that they should never fly internationally, is absurd. Should the Chinese children stay in the orphange till they're-what, how old?-just so you're not inconvenienced for a few hours" Maybe they should rent a boat to take them to the US? The world is a big and beautiful place-that's why you're flying. You can't choose your fellow passengers; the only thing you can control is your attitude.

Posted By Susan on April 12, 2010, 1:03 PM

I think it would be very interesting to survey the posters on this blog to find out how much home/family experience they have had with children (i.e. children of their own, neices and nephes, brothers and sisters, etc)... I'm willing to bet that those who are against child travel (or just overly annoyed with it) have had for the most part relatively little home or family experience with children compared to those who think the opposite (or who are just more relaxed about it).

As for my view, it is a fact that families are an normal part of society, and that children are a normal part of families--usually the most cherished part of a family by all members, even extended family. Comments like "just have the grandparents visit you" or "wait until they are old enough to travel" or "children should be banned from flights" or "what is so important that you need to take your child with you" have been made. These suggestions are unrealistic and show inexperience or a lack of family life by the commenters... or perhaps just a bad memory for the pain-staking trouble it takes to plan out long-distance family visits. These comments could also be showing us that our culture has or is developing one of the symptoms of a decaying society: a disappreciation for family life. I think JanB's comments about her trips to Indonesia (Mar 18 comment) were particularly telling of this.

I do not have children of my own but have had ample home/family experience with children. It is obvious that emotions run high in this topic, and emotions can sometimes keep one from thinking clearly. There is room for improvement on both sides of the argument, and no need for hurt feelings--both sides have their grievances, and both sides should be listened to. We need to remember, though, that in the end it is not the "other person" who needs to change or who will change your situation. YOU need to change, or change your situation.

Posted By Christine on April 12, 2010, 1:17 PM

In reference to the comment above telling those of us who would prefer not to have babies on planes to fly in first class, twice I have flown first class with crying babies seated in that section. One time the baby cried all night on an overnight flight; the other time, most recently, she cried on much of my trip to Hawaii. First class is not immune...but it should be, considering what it costs.

Posted By SingleTraveler98 on April 12, 2010, 1:30 PM

I am in agreement with Al. Children will be children; however, it is the responsibility parents to teach them to behave. My wife and I endured an unruly child, approximately 7, who persisted in repeatedly kicking my wife's seat from Mexico City to Los Angeles. The mother knew what he was doing, but made no attempt to stop him. My wife kindly asked that she address the issue, but her response was, "He is only a boy." I switched seats with my wife and the child never stopped.

This was a clearly inadequate and inappropriate response. I have children, now in their 20s, but my wife does not, and I will admit that my patience is a little bit longer than hers. However, it is the parent's responsibility to not only acknowledge the unruly child's action but correct it.

My former wife and I were returning from our honeymoon, flying from Athens to NYC. Two kids, about 5 and 7, persisted disrupting the entire flight. They were unruly in the terminal, and continued throughout the 10 hour flight. The kids were in the seat in front of us. They constantly stood in their seats peering and eavesdropping as we tried to have conversations, and kicking through the seat at our magazines as we attempted read. Their parents never said a word. Finally, one child reached over the seat and hit my former wife in the head with an Etch-a-Sketch.

I was nursing a cold, but I finally admonished the children, as the adjacent passengers cheered. Their father had the temerity to ask me what was going on, and I advised him to control his unruly brood. The attendant came and the kids were escorted to the back of the plane for the remaining 1.5 hours of the flight.

I probably traveled more than 200,000 miles internationally before I was 15. The times were very different: You dressed properly to travel and my parents would have been mortified if we misbehaved. My parents would have addressed any issues before a third party would find the need to intervene.

In the end, it is the parents' responsibility to ensure that their children do not disrupt others on flights, or in restaurants or movie theaters (where no children under 5 should be allowed after 7 PM).

Someone left a message above that said that fellow passengers will be more understanding and supportive if they see that parent are trying to control their kids. That person was quite correct. I become annoyed when a parent expects me to simply accept their children's unruliness as a fact of life. It may be their lot in life, but I have raised mine, and I do not need to endure theirs.

Posted By Andras on April 12, 2010, 2:12 PM

I've been on both sides. Like JM, I am so irritated with bratty kids. But when they are under 21, I am actually more annoyed with their parents than the kid. I didn't allow children at my wedding. 20 years later, I have a 10 and 13 year old. I have been traveling with them since they were 6 weeks old. I have heard numerous comments from customer service agents and flight attendants that my kids are really polite. Why? Because I can't stand bratty kids and I refused to have my children act like those bratty kids. They have learned from the time they could walk, that they are not allowed to kick the seat in front of them, they must always say "thank you" and "please". they are not to bicker on the airplane, no opening and closing the tray. I have to confess that there was one flight to Australia when my under 1 year old daughter was howling for a few hours. I couldn't get up to walk her because there was strong turbulence. Turns out she was scared of the turbulence and when it stopped, she stopped. I felt so horrible that I disturbed all the people in our area. I apologized and they were very nice about it. Parents, I know children are unpredictable but like so many other readers, go prepared and remember - you're job is to keep them entertained the entire flight.

Posted By toobusy2 on April 12, 2010, 5:26 PM

Seriously, travel is always a choice. You chose that job that requires you to travel; you chose that vacation and are very lucky to be able to afford the time and money to go on it, too. I don't care how long your travel time is, it is a miniscule part of your life and if you can't be tolerant of the other humans who inhabit this planet then you should choose to stay home.

Posted By Winnie on April 12, 2010, 5:42 PM

Some delightful and easy-to-find gifties for little fliers:

A box of colorful bandaids for kiddo to apply to self, with a ziplock for trash
little dover books of stickers, tracing templates, even rub on tatoos
'books on tape' from the library

For elementary age kids, the "Klutz Books" are great as they combine easy-to-follow instruction booklets along with all the necessary supplies to complete a craft project or two--in a small package!

For adult travelers of all persuasions, I recommend an essay by the well regarded writer Terry Tempest Williams, from the collection "High Tide in Tucson," in which she writes about the part culture plays in the way children are regarded by adults.

Happy Trails and don't forget to breathe!

Posted By MelissaBee on April 13, 2010, 2:14 AM

We just traveled from London to Boston and there was a woman on the flight with a baby who didn't stop crying. The flight attendant brought her a car seat and hooked it all up and the baby wouldn't
stay in it so she called the flight attendant back
and asked him to change the position which he did.
The baby still didn't like it so she got a car bed.
That didn't work either so she had a fellow passenger get her diaper bag from the overhead. She got what she needed and then had him put the bag back up. Then she needed to go to the bathroom
so she had another person hold the baby. Now if it
was a cute, friendly baby that would be one thing but to impose on someone when you have a crying infant is something else. After that the flight
attendant was called back to bring back the carseat. It was so annoying and this was all taking place during the British Air flight! If you
can't take care of your own needs when traveling with an infant maybe you should consider staying
home instead of putting so many people out. I have
traveled with children and I do take care of my own
and bring plenty of things to occupy them so they
don't annoy other passengers.

Posted By Sue on April 13, 2010, 9:22 AM

The comments appear to be in two camps, mostly polarized with very few people taking the middle ground. From what I gather (including my personal flight experience, as I travel as a job requirement), the primary frustration with children aboard flights is those children who behave unruly (kicking the back of someone's seat). The secondary frustration (and cause of the first) appears to be with parents who refuse to make an attempt at disciplining their children and only offer excuses for their kid's behavior such "they're just children", "what's your problem", etc. They take no responsibility for their lack of parenting or the behavior of their children. The problem is the parents--not the children. This it true no matter how much the parent tries to attack you after you ask that they prevent their child from kicking your seat. It is true no matter how much they try to vilify you as a "child hater" (ridiculous comment) or some other monster who would dare speak anything other than praise for their children. It is true no matter how much they say "suck it up" or some other blame-shifting response. It's a trick that is often used in politics: demonize the person who addresses an issue that you have some responsibility for creating. As long as an attempt is made to quell they crying, I can tolerate it. Most passengers would agree that this is hit or miss, based on the technique and child's disposition. If I ask you to tell your child (yes, I said "tell" your child; you are still the adult in the situation and presumably have authority over your own child) to stop kicking my seat, please don't accept that I don't appreciate the disturbance and that it has nothing to do with me "hating" your child--just annoyance with you for not addressing the situation in a decisive manner. I've been aboard planes since I was 2, and I never kicked the back of anyone's seat because I knew it was wrong kick another person or kick the seat their sitting in. How did I know? It probably had something to do with my parents actually parenting.

Posted By Will on April 13, 2010, 10:51 AM

i have a great idea for steve and the airlines a child free flight the airlines could charge double

Posted By blinn on April 13, 2010, 3:19 PM

None of the comments that I read adressed the plight of older travelers. Yes we have had children and even grandchildren. But for now we would like and perhaps need some peace and quiet on an airplane. Over the years we have noticed a great deal of change inhow parants travel with children. Now days it'S pretty much "let them do their own thing". Which means that we folks who are older and may need a little rest during a long flight just aren't getting any. So please parents of babies and toddlers--GIVE US A BREAK!!!!

Posted By Grandma on April 13, 2010, 6:19 PM

1st - I don't have children.
2nd - I travel regularly, and have dealt with screaming babies, quiet babies, smelly adults, loud annoying adults, friendly chatty adults. We all have issues and no one is perfect.
3rd - It is unreasonable to ask parents not to travel with their children regardless of the reason.
4th - Parents should be paying the attention needed to their child both before (packing appropriately) and during the flight (trying to quiet any major fussing and kicking of seats). Sadly "should" is the operative word, and many parents seem to be able to tune out their child's restlessness no matter how loud. Funny though, even parents who have gone through raising a child can't stand someone else's crying child. It's not being A parent that lets you tolerate it, it's being THEIR parent.
5th - Across the board, everyone on a plane these days is likely unhappy about something - especially in coach! Collectively we should try to make it as pleasant as possible. I personally bring earplugs, books, and my music with headphones - these all help me tune out everyone else's issues, including upset/bored children and annoyed angry adults.

Posted By Monica on April 17, 2010, 7:38 PM

My child has been to 40 countries. As another poster does, I would go to the dollar store and buy many toys and distractions, wrap them up and hand them out about every hour plus new books puzzle books, markers crayons play doh, games. and sometimes i would have to entertain her for 8-12 hours. That's my job no matter how exhausting. I would not let her bother any one. It's totally the parents responsibility to control their child. I'm blessed she's a good traveler. Unfortunately there are some lousy parents out there who are oblivious to their child's needs and the comfort of others.

Posted By sherry on April 24, 2010, 7:28 PM

Yay to Monica and Sherry!! You two rocked the blog with your unbiased comments :D

Posted By Christine on May 1, 2010, 12:27 AM

I am happily childfree and the reason I have chosen this lifestyle is I dislike children intensely. There. I said it.

However, that said, it doesn't mean I would ever want to see a child get hurt or otherwise ill-treated and I am sympathetic to parents who are having limited success in controlling a restless, bored, angry kid on a long flight. The key is... if I can tell they are invested in doing their all, they get a pained and sympathetic nod from me, and I might even try to help out with a silly face and a piece of hard candy (which I have to carry for my own ear issues when I fly).

My following remark is not for the parents that simply have their hands full and are doing their heroic and brave best. There is a difference between 'Mom and Dad' and 'Moo and Dud'... this is for all the Moos and Duddies out there.

When you take on the massive responsibility and burden (and don't tell me it's not partially a burden)... this means you also take on every scream, every seat-kick, every other act of misbehavior. It means you have to be the parent. When your precious bundle flicks her gum into my hair (this really happened...), and I turn around angrily, it's on you to own that your kid did something socially inappropriate and correct the behavior. I realize that a child who is in a stressful situation may regress or behave unpredictably. When they do, though, you need to address it, not look all offended when I turn around and say politely 'I'm sorry, but your son is really bothering me and he is keeping me from sleeping. Would you please get him to stop pretending the tray table is a catapult?' (Also really happened.)

Neither the Gum Moo or the Tray Table Duddy wanted to do anything. So... when the behavior continued, I contacted flight staff and asked that I be moved. I was not whispery as to why, either. I don't embarrass easily at all and I don't particularly care if I embarrass a person who clearly doesn't care about doing their job as a parent.

I don't think children should be banned from flights. But I think more should be done by flight crew to help out when it's clear that the parents of misbehaving kids want to have the entire aircraft babysit for them while they watch the movie, natter at each other, or sleep.

Posted By Steel Hyaena on May 13, 2010, 12:30 PM

Children are so precious and only should be taken care of in that way! Your blogpost has allowed me to think up some interesting ideas, so thank you and please keep it going!

Posted By Blair Edson on May 29, 2010, 7:37 PM

Its not simply an issue of irritating children on airplanes. People are subjecting others to their screaming, badly behaved offspring in restaurants, grocery stores, coffee shops - everywhere.
They allow their brats to run around like wild animals, destroying and stomping on products in stores, throwing food and screaming, while the parents do absolutely nothing to remedy the situation.
It is utterly appalling how many times I have had to put up with a nasty child jumping on tables and chairs at a restaurant, chasing after patrons while screaming at the top of its lungs. That is completely disgusting behavior and should not be tolerated.

Just because you chose to breed, does not mean that everybody else wants to, or should have to be subjected to your bratty little child. Either teach them how to behave, or dont reproduce.

Posted By Bartholomew on April 19, 2011, 2:59 PM

I don't have any kids of my own but have babysat a lot and usually don't mind kids, especially babies, being on planes. Some of the kids/babies were even enjoyable to have aboard. As other posters have said, it's usually adults who are the most annoying passengers. However, that being said, there are kids, usually those older than toddler age, who should not be on planes; based on the way these particular children behave, my guess is that they should not be in public at all. And to the poster who said that children are not like dogs and there is not a place to board them for a week while you go on vacation, my response is: Yes, there are places to "board" them for a week --- grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, etc. As long as children are well-behaved (or if an infant's parent at least TRIES to soothe the crying baby), I have no problem with them being on planes. But there are too many parents out there who delude themselves into thinking that their kids are much more angelic than they truly are. Take an objective look at your kids; judge them as you would if they were not yours. Would you want to be stuck on a trans-oceanic flight with them if they were not yours? If your deep-down, truthful answer is "yes," then take them on the flight; if your gut answers "NOOOOO!" then rest assured that no one else wants to be around them, either, and make different traveling/vacation plans.

Posted By Beth on July 25, 2011, 10:28 PM